Football has taken over my life

Growing up with a dad and two brothers, it was inevitable that football was on ALL. THE. TIME.  Had my mom not been around, they might have trapped me in their clutches and made me a tomboy.  But Andrea kept me from going over to the darkside, and when the football takeover descended upon us, we would escape upstairs and watch some quality shows on Bravo or E.  Despite our best efforts to be immune, their passion for the Seahawks was transferable and we DID break our football strike to cheer on the Hawks.  I have good memories of watching the game every Sunday with the fam.

But it always stopped there.  I never understood why football needed to be on every second four days in a row.  And I still don't.  Go Hawks!  (And Saints).  Now let's watch something else. 

Unfortunately, my loving husband is not on the same page.  Between Thursday night football (when did that start?), college football, and RJ's lovely new interest in HIGH SCHOOL FOOTBALL GAMES ON ESPN (apparently he's "scouting the talent"?? WHAT. THE. HELL.) football has officially taken over my life.  I am lucky if we get two nights a week without it.  But don't worry.  We have Madden and NCAA 13 to get us through those times.  Oh, and let's not forget the ever present football commentary on ESPN.  If RJ's not watching football, reading about football, watching football documentaries, or playing football video games, he's talking about it.  To me.  Also, don't get me started on the emotional roller coaster we go through every weekend.  Damn you Fantasy Football.  I told him that too much of anything is a bad thing, and he's ruining "my love of the game" with over-exposure.  I think he just tuned me out.

I used to be able to fight the football obsession by going into work for a couple hours on Sunday, or with strategic "Sunday girl time". But now that RJ is my only friend, it's a lot harder to fight.  And I find myself slipping to the darkside.      

Case in point:

Somehow he Svengali'd me into making football picks with him each week.  I know.  The things I do when unemployed and bored.

At first, I planned to study the games and read things on NFL.com.  But two articles in, I quickly realized how boring that was.  So I stopped, and instead I chose my picks based on a few other key things:

1. Is the quarterback cute?  (I don't care if the Raiders "suck".  Matt Leinart is hot.)
2. Which city would I rather visit?
3. Are their costumes cute?  Do the colors go well together? 

**The best way to passive aggressively annoy your husband during a football game is to call the uniforms "costumes", and personal fouls "Rude Tackles".  Thank you Andrea Lund.  It started as a joke, but now the terminology has stuck.  And is spreading.  

Also, it should be noted that choosing the hot quarterback over the slimy quarterback theory totally worked- Steelers vs. Raiders?

I DID factor in some of the knowledge I've picked up from the 24/7 football coverage at our house, but that was the fourth consideration.

At the end of each week the person who has the most picks correct gets to choose whatever they want.  Probably within reason, but I plan to push it as far as I can go.

As with everything, this little bet brings good and bad.

The bad?  I find myself following all the games and watching the scores.  I've been sucked into the football trap.

The good?  Oh, I don't know.... how about WINNING.  That's right.  I won more games than RJ this week.  Ha. Ha.  He spends so much time reading about the defenses, and player match-ups, and blah, blah BLAH.  And I chose based on costume color.  And WON.  Life is good.

We each had 6 wins, and it came down to the final Sunday night game, the Patriots vs. the Ravens.  (We don't bet on the Seahawks).  I picked the Ravens, DUH, because Tom Brady is a jerk who left his pregnant girlfriend for Gisele Bundchen, and damn if I ever vote for him.  Bastard.  RJ picked the Patriots.  Rookie mistake.  The first rule of football is to never pick teams whose quarterbacks have bad karma.  Everyone knows that.  (Steelers anyone?)

For my prize this week I chose a massage from RJ, but next week I'm going for something that costs money.  I've had my eye on this, and I'm thinking it has "victory week 4" written all over it.  I plan to extort my way through this football season, thankyouverymuch.

I told RJ I would help him with his picks for week 4 if he wanted.  I also told him he should probably factor in costume color coordination, and quarterback karma a little more.  He put me in a headlock, but I think that's his way of saying "You're right".
 
And now... I grant you... my WINNING football picks.  That's right.  Week 3 belongs to ME.  I only had seven picks correct, which isn't that great, but it's better than RJ's SIX.  Haha.

I dripped water all over the packet about 30 seconds after it was handed to me.  RJ got all hurt, as if I was "disrespecting" the bet.  "Can't you be more careful?" he whined.  "I spent all this time making you a packet, and you spill on it within a minute." I guess sometimes I forget how much effort goes into printing and stapling papers. 

"There's no time for love when the Seahawks are on."

**This post is dedicated to Rick Lund, the first man to bring me to the football darkside.  I'll never forget watching Monday night football with you and eating Banquet Chicken Pot Pies, because that was the night mom went to school.  I quickly realized that if I watched the game and pretended to like it, I would be allowed to stay up until half-time, which was past my usual bedtime.   Thanks for teaching me how to "like" football.  :)